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An Autohagiography

Diary of a Fiend

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Why are people so stupid?
top hat, ring leader, ariel dehaviland
Forgive me lord for not believing in you. Forgive me for thinking all of religion is all just a bunch of bullcrap. Forgive me for using my brain & figuring out all the lies that have been fed to me from all the wrong people. Forgive me for questioning what people tell me about you. Forgive me for knowing the fact that Jesus never existed & was made-up by someone to control the masses. Forgive me for not having any faith in lies. Forgive me for having a brain & actually being able to use it. Forgive me for not being a sheep & going along with the herd. Dear Jesus forgive me for knowing that you never died for my sins & you never actually were a person. Forgive me for hating all the idiots who idolize some false made-up bullshit. Forgive me for not believing in you or putting any faith in your teachings. Forgive me for knowing any real God would not have a million religions dividing people around the world. Forgive me for realizing the Hippocracy of all religions. Forgive me for not being able to swallow a load of bullshit. Forgive me for believing if God actually exists he is beyond all human conception of him. Forgive me for not knowing what the truth is but having a pretty good idea of what it isn't. Why do I live in a world of lies? Why do people constantly tell themselves lies to exist & find happiness. Forgive me for not being able to swallow it. All these things make me sick. I get sick when I think about the countless herd of sheeple out there who will believe about anything you feed them. Why am I so different? Why did God create me not to believe in him? It's not really God I have the problem with it's the people who profess to know something about God. How can anyone know something about a divine creator who created all things? If God created man then God also created me. Why do I choose to go against the teachings of this supposed God if he's real? Why would anyone appose God & choose to live against him? Am I really Satanic & was just born into sin or something? If God created Jesus didn't he also create the Devil & aren't they both sons of God? Why am I suppose to put faith in some guy who died on a cross to save me from sin? Why doesn't Jesus answer any of my prayers I've made to him when I was younger? Why would I lose faith in someone who's supposedly real? Why would I give my life to christ then later reject him? Why would I choose to believe in someone who gives me nothing but guilt & shame & promises I will die in eternal hell fire unless I give him absolute authority over my life or should I say the people who tell me what he was about & how to believe. I should just do whatever some Christian bastard tells me to do because he has the authority about God & knows everything that Jesus would do, right? What a bunch of bullshit. How can people honestly believe this crap? Sure, life is hard to figure out & we are all looking for answers but to believe in this bullshit is even worse than not knowing the truth. To have some false truth fed to you does not replace that fact that none of it is real. Why do people need to place their faith into something imaginary? Why do people buy it? Why are people so ignorant? Why can I exist in the same world they do? I am not an evil person that loves sin. I am a good person who enjoys doing what's right. I don't need a false God to fill up my life to make me into a good person. I don't need to be told fake lies to have morality. I don't need to be threatened with eternal hell fire to do what's right. I don't believe in God, I don't believe in the Devil, I don't believe in anyone named Jesus. There is no "J" even in the Hebrew alphabet how could there have been a Jew named Jesus who started this insane religion that has nothing to do with the man & his teachings? How is it there is no record of this man ever existing apart from the Bible that was written years after his death. How can people put so much faith in lies? Why do I even care? Why can't I just figure out what the truth actually is.. I don't want to be fed anymore lies & bullshit.. I am sick of it. I am sick of ignorant people in the world. I really wish every Christian would just fucking shoot themselves. How can they find happiness in their deceptions? How can they smile through all the lies? How can they pray daily to something that doesn't exist & never did. Who makes up all these stories? What is the purpose to control the minds of people with complete bullshit made-up stories.. I am angry about this. I am furious that this shit continues to go on in the world. I have no idea why I care but I do. I want people to wake the fuck up & find the real truth. What is beyond the lies of religion & the lies of science? Nothing makes any sense. People are willing to believe just about anything you feed them. How could they be so stupid?